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How I came to Krsna.
I was born in a traditional business class Hindu family in a small
south Indian City called Guntur. Our house is very close to a
reputed Krishna temple known as Gaudiya Math. So, I can say that
my connection with Krishna has been there from the very beginning
of my life. My grand mother was an initiated disciple of Gaudiya
Math and my Grand Father was the founding donor of the Math. I
was used to seeing my grand mother chanting on her beads all the
time in our house and have also participated in various temple
programs. However there was no focused interest in Krishna or
an effort to understand his science. Fast forward my life; I left India to pursue higher studies in Canada in 1998. After completing the MBA at McGill University, I was disillusioned with the rat race to amass money and fame. So, I did not take up any corporate job, but was just living on the social security. Most of my time used to be spent gazing at the women and browsing through the net about the history, world events, and biographies of leaders.
Although I wouldn't call my self a philosopher, but there was a search for some higher purpose of life beyond the mundane wrangling. Although I used to visit temples and churches, I have always felt that these religious rituals are some kind of sentimental procedures. Although hailing from a traditional Hindu family, having lived away from home for over 15 years, I sort of developed all kinds of anarthas(bad habits) like meat eating, irregular sleeping, too much TV and movies, skirt chasing to name a few. My life was any thing but normal. I was living like a mleccha (uncivilized person), and began to think that the Vedas, Bhagavat Gita and Krishna are some kind of imaginative stories developed for the general guidance of people.
One day I met an ISKCON brahmachari when I was as usually ambling on Ste. Catherine Street in Montreal. This brahmachari was nice and polite; he was trying to convince me to buy some Krishna Conscious books. I said that, I know who Krishna is and there is nothing more I need to know. He perhaps thought that I am one of those over-confident materialists who underestimate Krishna and his potencies, so he didn't see any point to further discuss with me. He just requested me to visit their centre. I frankly said that it wouldn't be possible for me since their centre is quite far from where I live. Then he suggested that I visit another centre called Govina Jaya Jaya which is quite close to my room. He also said that this centre serves nice feast after their Sunday program.
Being a person with large appetite, I promptly visited the Govina centre the very next Sunday, to catch up with the feast. There were about 15 people, all Caucasians of American or European origin found in very conventional, Vedic attire of Kurtas, dhotis and saris. The small temple hall has the deities of pancha tattva and is nicely decorated with photos of Srila prabhupada, Krishna, Chaitanya Maha Prabhu and Narasimha Swamy. The program lasted for about three hours with a serious of pravachans (lectures), bhajans, tulasi puja, all ably led by the President Nandi Kesvera Prabhu.
The atmosphere was quite cordial, serene and engaging. Although I didn't understand or believe in the events happening, I was completely entertained. Looking at Srila Prabhupada's pictures and videos, I felt he must be some kind of spiritual leader. Srila Prabhupada has appealed to me as a nice and simple person. I was happy that such a simple person has gained good following among western youth. My initial connection to the centre is that, " Well, here are some western people who are seriously following India culture perhaps more seriously that we Indians do".
The program was followed by an excellent feast as promised by
that unknown ISKCON brahmachari, perhaps the thing that I had
been eagerly waiting for. While I was enjoying the feast something
happened that really touched me. Nandi Prabhu has come to me with
his plate of Prasadam and sat next me and began inquiring about
me. In my five years stay in North America, I had never experienced
some one who has been so warmly interested in a foreigner like
me. I could only see, general population of the America completely
immersed in their rat race.
On the way back to home, I was thinking, well here are some nice
people, nice entertainment, nice culture and wonderful prasadam.
Although I was unable to make any connection to this program in
spiritual plane, but there was some lasting impression on my mind,
which made me to eagerly wait for the next Sunday evening session.
The positive experience was being reinforced as I was attending
the Sunday programs regularly. To my fortune, it was the season
of Vaishnava festivals like Krishnatami, Radhastami, Balarama
jayathi and Srila Prabhupada appearance day. So, this gave me
more opportunity to attend and associate with this centre.
Although I had been coming regularly, I was only thinking that
the underlying principle behind all these activities is some religious
sentiment but I didn't perceive the strong spiritual direction.
So, I was not very actively participating like asking intelligent
questions, rendering service, giving donation etc. Hari Katha
Prabhu who has been helping Nandi Prabhu in organizing these programs
has been intelligently playing videos and audios of Srila Prabhupada
and was giving opportunity to all visitors to associate with the
Jagat guru. So, temple has all ingredients to purify the guests
whether they know it or not.
Although I didn't have any firm understanding or faith in the
process, since there was no other engagement in my life, I began
to take these programs quite seriously. One day Nandi Prabhu announced
that the centre also has a morning Mangala arthi program, and
invited any interested people to attend. To my fortune, I awoke
early in the morning the next day and thought why not attend the
mangala arti session. There were only two people at that time
Hari Katha Prabhu and Aprkritha Prabhu, I gladly joined them.
Managala arti was for about couple of hours with Guru vandhana,
Tulasi puja and Kirtana. After it, Hari Katha Prabhu handed me
beads and said "Now we chant Hare Krishna Mantra for couple of
hours". Since I am already familiar with the mantra and beads
from my childhood connection to Gaudiaya Math, I immediately started
chanting.
After chanting, I found Hari Katha Prabhu sitting in the Govinda
restaurant downstairs and began conversation with him. We spoke
for over an hour while strolling in a near by park. Hari Katha
Prabhu has begun to tell me about the importance of the Hare Krishna
cult and its authenticity, relevance to the world. Being a materialist
with a hodgepodge of mundane knowledge, I began to put forward
my arguments against Vedic life, Krishna and spirituality. I was
drawing my arguments from academic science and various lines of
thought I have cultivated like Vivekananda, Gandhi, Aurobindo,
Darwin etc.
Hari Katha Prabhu has cleanly defeated me (thankfully…..) by always
proposing the Vedic evidence on the authority of Srila Prabhupada.
This routine continued for about a week, and I was taking every
opportunity to associate with Hari Katha Prabhu and become more
active in the activities of the centre. Hari Katha Prabhu has
systematically convinced me on the issues of reincarnation, Karma,
spiritual world, Guru Parampara, Vedic system of varnasrama, Krishna
as the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and Srila Prabhupada as
the current Vaishnava Aacharya. With every bit of realization,
I was feeling like a person who has accidentally walked into a
gold mine. Whenever, I praised Hari Katha prabhu he would promptly
pass on the credit to Srila Prabhupada and glorify him. This has
made me to focus more on Srila Prabhupada and his persona.
Hari Katha Prabhu has given me a book titled "Life comes from
Life", which is a conversation of Srila Prabhupada with a group
of scientists. Reading this book, where Srila Prabhupada quashes
the baseless modern school of scientific
understanding like Darwin theory, Chance theory, Life comes from
chemicals etc., has completely shook up my belief of world and
creation. Srila Prabhupada has clearly established in this book
that the Vedic wisdom is the only way for all to elevate themselves
from the miseries of worldly existence. This sounded exactly like
the panacea I had been looking for.
Reading this book, regularly attending the programs at the centre
and actively associating with a sincere devotee like Hari Katha
Prabhu have purified me and enabled me to accept the shelter of
Srila Prabhupada. I would say this was the real beginning of my
Krishna conscious life. Ever since an intense eagerness to understand
and serve Krishna has developed and there was a new meaning and
purpose to my life.
I understood the purport of the saying "Only by the mercy of a
devotee one will be able to become a devotee". If a fallen soul
like me is able to get into Krishna conscious way of life, it
is only by the mercy of devotees like Nandi Prabhu, Hari Katha
Prabhu who helped me understand the greatness of Srila Prabhupada
and Krishna.
Jaya Srila Prabhupada
By Bhakta Sridhar.